Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Always wishing for something different?

I was walking to school today thinking about the weather. I was wishing it was spring already. Wishing I could wear skirts and shorts and t-shirts without a jacket. Wishing I could kick back at the end of the day on my front porch drinking a couple beers with some friends. Wishing I could go running in the park with shorts on instead of sweats. And then I realized, I am always wishing for something else.
Do we all do that? I spent a good chunk of summer wishing it was time to "this" or time to do "that." In most cases I spent most of summer wishing it was winter so I would not have to be so darn hot all the time.
Today and for the past couple of weeks I have been wishing it would be hot again. So I sit here and I wonder, Are we always wishing for something else?
I used to think, as soon as I get out of So Cal things will be different. But I got out of So Cal and things, well of course they were different, I moved 2500 miles away! But they were not different the way I wanted them to be different. Then I realized if I wanted things to be different I had to change myself. So I have been working on that. A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I started going to therapy. I have been working on taking better care of myself, including exercise and much to the shock of my doctor actually eating. Ok that is a side story.
SOOOOOO I started on some new medication and for the first week I was nothing but nauseous. To the point where I was dry heaving one day, so of course I did not eat for the first week with the exception of a piece of toast in the morning.
Then the next week I just wasnt hungry ever. So while I did eat like a banana or something, I wasnt really eating. Well my appetite has finally returned however I have lost like 12 pounds and will try to lose more and keep it off.
So here is my question for everyone out there, are you always wishing for something different or are you happy with the way EVERYTHING in your life is right now?


  1. Wishing for something else is where we get cliché's like "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." A curly-haired girl will want easy-to-take-care-of straight hair, and a straight-haired girl will want sexy-fun-looking curly hair (says the straight-haired girl... can you hear the bias in my descriptions?).
    We can't physically have everything, and it seems to be part of the human condition to notice the things missing from what we DO manage to get. And so, of course, we want what is missing; whatever "else" is left out from our lives, no matter how good we've got it. 'Tis a silly thing we do, but yes; everyone wishes for something else at some point.
    The key is figuring out when the thing you're missing is more important than what you've got, and then working to exchange the two. Kudos to you, girly, for working to change yourself! It's a hard thing to do, but I believe you are succeeding! You have changed already from when we were kids in SoCal, and I hope life continues to look up for you. Even if it means taking a hard look at your wishes and sorting them into "the-grass-is-greener" normal human nonsense, subconscious desires on the part of your mind to change something for the better, flat-out mid-life-crisis proportion soul-searching, or just your everyday hum-drum this-is-boring-so-let's-change-something! <=) Love you!

  2. Louis says that every woman is never satisfied with what they have... and I'm starting to think he's right. I'm the same way...